"I know what love is; what's it to you?

What is love? Well, it's not something I can really say I'm an expert at. I can't really say I've ever been "in love", so I really don't know what I'm talking about when it comes down to the sort of love I suppose a husband and wife should have. But I CAN say that the things I've experienced have taught me a lot about a genuine love for God's children. A love for family, friends, acquaintances and the "more than friends" in my life. I know what love means to me and I'm looking for someone who feels the same way.

"I want to marry my best friend." That's what they all say, right? Cliche, yeah? Well, if it makes me naive then I guess I am because that's exactly what I'm looking for. From my perspective, it seems love is everywhere! You can find it in almost anyone. But the love I'm looking for is never ending and eternal and strong enough to weather any storm. That's not something you can just "find" anywhere; it's something that must be built. A love like that requires an un-movable foundation. A foundation in which a key ingredient is friendship. Without friendship, love is shallow and fleeting. Friendship deepens and re-enforces love.

Then, what is friendship? Is it simply a list of people you are connected to on Face Book? Some one you've spent some time with? Some one you've talked to a few times? Someone who shares your interests? Some one you go to class with or work with everyday? A relative? An intriguing stranger? Like love, I believe "friendship" is a term that is used very loosely these days. Think of the people you call "friend". What do they really mean to you? What do you really mean to them? How much do you really know about that person? How deeply do you really care for them? Do you feel connected to their heart? What would you sacrifice for the safety and happiness of that person? What makes them your friend? "What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies. -Aristotle-"

Friendship to me is much more than an acquaintanceship. Friendship cannot exist without honesty, trust or respect. It cannot exist without a genuine care and love for the other. Friendship is selfless. Friendship is more than surrounding ourselves with people we get along with to defeat loneliness. It is more than feeling included and more than having something to do on the weekend or someone to talk to when you get bored. If you are my friend, you are someone I truly care about. It makes me sad to see you in pain and it brings me joy if I can do something to make you happy. Your companionship is fulfilling; not just a time-killer. I learn from you, grow from your light and strive to be the person you can feel safe and loved with. I will RESPECT YOU. I believe a true friend (male or female) would do/feel the same for me.

The culture I'm experiencing today has me feeling pressured when it comes to the dating scene. I understand it would be unfair to over-generalize a population. Not everyone approaches dating in the same way. However, I have still noticed a trend in the dates I have been on and the relationships I have been in especially in the last year and a half. I have felt pressured to make quick relationship status decisions. For example, I'll go on a second or third date with a guy and he will ask me to consider dating him exclusively. Or we will date exclusively for a few weeks or a few months and he will bring up marriage. I assume it is a normal process. After all, the purpose of dating is to find an eternal companion right? So I won't place blame on these guys for thinking that way. However, I've learned I'm not comfortable with that approach. I much rather take it slow and keep it casual. Network, make friends, and develop deeper friendships with those I make greater connections with. Rather than feeling the pressure to be continually pushing my relationships toward marriage, I would much rather be making friends and spending time getting to know them well.

I suppose what I'm saying is that I'm uncomfortable with how quickly people in my culture go in and out of relationships. I would rather to get to know someone as a friend before starting a romantic relationship than develop a friendship after a romance has already been established. Making friendship the foundation of the relationship is very important to me. I have not always felt this way, but it is something I have learned in my journey. This last year and a half has been one of growth and discovery. I feel I've really become a "whole" person and understand clearly where I stand. As a result, my dating standards have evolved; a change I feel good about. :)

My parents have been a wonderful example to me of a relationship I hope to have with my own husband some day. My brother and I have always known that our parents love each other because they have always been very open about it. This has been one of the things I think has brought us closer together as a family. Occasionally my parents would get into an argument. As a very young child something like this was scary to witness. However, I never doubted my parents love for each other. They proved to work TOGETHER through anything that crossed their path. What I saw in them was a genuine friendship. They are truly companions in every way. I think that is absolutely beautiful. That is what I want for my future. This is why I've made dating standards for myself. I want to be the person I'm looking for.

Something I have appreciated about a few of my more recent dating experiences has been the things I have learned about respect. A genuinely respectful man is hard to find... but they are out there. :) I'm thankful for that. Never have I felt more loved than when I have spent time with a man who truly respects me. Respect speaks louder than any words he could say to me. FRIENDSHIP. TRUST. RESPECT. I'm looking for all three. I'll be all three. :)

My New Journal

Ever since I can remember, I have been keeping hand-written journals; all throughout Elementary, Middle and High school. To start off my college experience, I bought myself a brand-new, black leather journal. I filled the first two pages, but since the day classes started, I have not taken the time to write. I'm keeping another smaller hand-written journal for the summer, but once classes begin again I've decided an on-line journal will be much more time-efficient. So I guess this is an experiment. This is an attempt to transition to digital journal-keeping. Haha... unfortunately I'm not very computer savvy; but I believe it will be an adventure either way. :)